if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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