SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
