I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
