Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
