why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
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