ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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