She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
