we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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