i just had sex bonerless
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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