I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
