she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize