Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Randomize
