look no pants
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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