Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
