Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
