I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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