Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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