yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
