I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Randomize