morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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