he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
You ate ashes out of my bong
Holy shit dude........stairs
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
