let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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