What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
