he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Randomize
