Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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