she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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