it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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