I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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