I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
