She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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