I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
