dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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