College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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