it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
