Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Randomize
