talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
