I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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