he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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