you have to choose: penises or morals?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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