i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
