More tranny stories later!
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
