I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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