Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
