Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
