I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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