so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
nutella sex= disaster
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Randomize
