Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
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