i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
