Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize
