Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
