dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
