So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize