he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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