it hurts more in the daytime
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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