Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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