Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize
