it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
