please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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