This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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