i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize