it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize