At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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