The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
