Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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