I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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