I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Randomize
