you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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