girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
