Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
