i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
