youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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