This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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