and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
