oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
